Practice makes perfect
Today was less than perfect to say the least. I was a little more than late for my class at university which resulted in me making up that time after school. So that's all dealt with and now I'm going to my job, and I'm late for that too! It's not as though I haven't been late once or twice before however, there was a staff meeting that I missed because of it! So now I have my boss barking at me as I'm trying to restock shelves. Ok, so that's done, I get to go home and relax now right? Wrong! I'm driving along, minding my own business when some jerk totally cuts me off and I almost get in an accident!
I'm surprised that I ever made it home without ripping out my hair! But here I am. Home sweet home. Collapsing on the sofa I lazily glance around the room, looking for my boyfriend. See, for some crazy reason I am dating, and living with the world's most childish adult. We are nothing alike! I have my whole career planned out while he just 'goes with the flow'. I have a steady job while it seems as though he had a new one every two weeks! I just don't understand it but for some reason I love him.
So if it's ten-thirty at night, where the heck was he? He had to be home, the television was still on and it was in the middle of playing 'Iron Man 2'. Maybe he just went to the washroom or something? I might have seen this film about eight thousand times already but I guess I could watch it again with him. Actually, that would be nice, just be able to cuddle up with him and spend some much needed quality time. That sounded fanta-
What? What! Then I heard it. Shuffling noises were coming from upstairs. Oh no. Oh hell no. He was not cheating on me! Not after everything else that had happened! No freaking way!
I stomped up the stairs, making sure to give a clear warning of what was about to come for these two idiots. I mean, Alfred and I had never even... you know, so now he was going to with some other girl, in our house? In our bed!? The nerve of him!
"Alfred!" I opened the door so fast it ricocheted off of the wall and made my way over to our bed, grabbing the back of his shirt and off of the girl. Wait. That was supposed to be a girl. That was not a girl. That was a pillow.
Okay, now I was really confused. So he wasn't cheating on me, but he was making out with a pillow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, a pillow with a bra on it! My bra on it! This boy had some serious explaining to do. As I looked over to him, he had a mad blush and a look of guilt on his face as he played with his hands. What the hell was going on?
"Hehe, well um...you see, I..." His eyes darted all around the room as he fumbled around his words.
Now as I let my eyes wander I see a few other of my bras discarded around the bed. Wait a minute, was he...practicing? Oh. My. God. He so was! He was definitely practicing how to take a bra off! My sweet little innocent Alfred, who was now in university, didn't know how to take a bra off! Oh now this was too good. I started to giggle but it soon turned into a full on laugh.
"Pffft, oh my gosh Alfie!"
"You're too cute!"
"You were practicing how to take a bra off!"
"N-no I wasn't!"
"You so were!"
He crossed his arms and looked away as his whole face turned a bright pink. He was so cute sometimes, still such a child. He tried to look mad by glaring at me over the tops of his glasses, but it wasn't working. Him sitting crossed armed on the bed, his recent situation all around the room, it truly was a Kodak moment. So why didn't I have my damn camera!?
He jumped up and bounded out the room and I instantly felt bad. Ok, maybe I was a bit mean. Even if it was hilarious. Sighing, I walked out after him, looking down the hallway and deciding where to go. In times like these I had to think like an Alfred. He was embarrassed, surprised and a little pissed. It could only mean one thing. Food. I went down the stairs two at a time and into the kitchen, and wouldn't you know, Alfred had a McDonald's burger on the table. He pretty much had a supply in the house for moments like this, when he needed some comfort food. When I walked in, he turned his head away.
"Aww sweetie, I was only joking~." I cooed, trying to lighten up the mood. I slipped into the seat next to him, but he refused to look my way. Sometimes this man could just make me smile without even trying. He did seem really mad, but I could tell from the pout on his face that it wouldn't take much to get him back. I reached out my hand to his cheek, hoping to turn him to face me but he swung his head the other way, a frustrated 'humph', coming out of him as he did.
"The silent treatment? Really?" But my words couldn't taunt him.
"Alfieeeeeeeee~!" I was now poking at his face, but he must've been some poker star in a
past life because his face wouldn't budge.
"You're breaking my heart!" Nope. Nothing. Nada.
An idea popped into my head. An ingenious idea that could not fail. How could Alfie resist this? It would be far too perfect. A snarky smile crept to my lips as I plotted inside my mind, but if Alfred noticed, than he certainly didn't show it. I stood up and went behind his chair, letting arms slide loosely onto his shoulders.
"Don't worry, you don't have to be embarrassed." I whispered into his ear. He shifted away from my grasp, seeming indifferent towards my actions.
"Alfie, I have a proposal for you.." Still nothing. I leaned my head closer to him so I could speak directly into his ear.
"How about instead of practicing on a pillow, you practice on me?"
I could somehow hear the cogs moving around in his brain as he contemplated my words, and the utter stillness in his body baffled me. Could it really be that hard of a decision to make? It seemed to take him forever to make up his mind.
Finally, he turned around, pure joy in his eyes, a gigantic smile on his face and he said,
"Aww yeah~!" He hollered as I was scooped up into his arms, his McDonald's burger left forgotten on the table as he bolted upstairs. This was Alfred for you. Absolutely ridiculous, hyper-active, and still a child at heart. And he was all mine.